Flip Flop?

I read this on another blog, and wanted it here to ponder it....

In his essay "Self Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.--'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.'--Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."

Someone who does not change his mind as he acquires new information and experience is foolish, indeed. And yet...we castigate people like Mitt Romney for changing his stand on abortion. In the past few years, I almost completely remade myself. My thoughts, how I respond to my surroundings. The choices I'm faced with and creating totally new avenues of choices so I'm not stuck in the same old patterns. This quote makes it easier for me to not limit myself by my past nor will I allow others perceptions of who they think I am to hold me back.

I've changed my mind about who I am. And I'm OK with that,

I'm looking forward to the next change.

True Class

I had the opportunity to witness a truly classy person today. A woman had a run-in with a public figure, and blogged it. She then got far more attention than she expected for it, and lots of people randomly chastising her for her choices and her changing her mind about whether all the attention was a good thing or not.

But the way she handled it prompted me to leave this comment on her blog

"Anything that I write will only barely cover the surface of all the random feelings that I'm having. You had no intention of being an example, and you were just living your life, but I've read these last few blogs since the Pizzagate, and find myself reminded of things that I once knew, and have forgotten. How to treat people with dignity, how to handle yourself in the face of adversity, Never letting yourself get so puffed up by pride that you forget what it feels like to be unknown.

You, in your 15 min of fame, have shown more grace and class than most of the people that are in public life.

As I wipe a little tear of shame from my eye, I just wanted to thank you for your example, and quiet dignity."

I've been studying the effects of positive thinking for years and years, and I STILL sometimes act like this politicians did when I don't get my way. This just gave me the opportunity to remind myself of the formula for dynamic living, and re-commit myself to living by those guidelines.

Dynamic Living = (God Given Equipment + the Principles of Success) multiplied by the power of a Proper Self Image

It gave me the opportunity to remind myself of the definition of Dynamic Living:

Dynamic Living is that kind of a life which is filled with joy and happiness all the time. A life free of fear. Free of worry. Continually in the pursuit of worthwhile goals, and totally well adjusted in life's 6 major areas, Business, Home, Social, Physical, Mental, and Spiritual.

It gave me a chance to remind myself of the Principles of Success:

1. Giving - whatever you give, you will receive.
2. Exclusion - Get rid of what you don't want, to make room for what you do want.
3. Creation - Decide what you want, define it clearly and write it down.
4. Visualization - Get a clear mental picture of what you want.
5. Command - Whatever you speak out of your mouth, that's what'll happen to you.
6. Action - Do it.... now!
7. Faith - faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
8. Enthusiasm - Give everything you've got to everything you do.
9. Self-Discipline - Do what needs to be done when it ought to be done whether you like it or not.
10. Persistence - I will...until , never give up.

I've been living the Principle of Giving quite faithfully and reaping the financial benefits of that, but I've neglected most of the others. Well... now I have the opportunity to recommit to living it.

Thank you Pizza Girl.

Load torpedoes 1 and 2 and flood the tubes.

Fire one!!!

Hit and Sunk!

We suddenly ran out of building material. No way to get over SOME walls, no matter how strong the feelings. I was an amazing 4 months! I learned TONS and have no regrets.

I just miss her.

My next Chapter

Ok....I've met someone.

J is in her late 30's. She has 4 kids which has kept me from ever seriously dating her, even though we've been casually seeing each other for the last 5 months. I'm finding, however, that the kid issue can be worked around. That will be the only thing that stops us from getting married. Which means that we'll probably stay boyfriend/girlfriend for quite awhile...maybe even up to the 2 years that I'd originally stated. She knows everything about me, though.

We met because I took out her best friend, and she wrote me to tease me about it. She lived in Montana at the time, so it was safe for me to let my guard down and be myself with her since I never thought I'd date her. Then she got a job in Utah, and moved down here in August. She's been to Karaoke a couple of times. We went out, had a blast. I even crashed a date she'd had with another guy in a weekend that she was visiting(I was her Saturday date...he was her Friday date after karaoke)

So...she's been divorced 4 years, and never wanted to get married again, but something changed for her at the temple wedding of a friend. J suddenly opened herself to the idea of that in her life again. So...one of the other guys she'd been dating asked her to be exclusive, which freaked her out, and she called me for advice. I was thrilled that she was able to take that step so I encouraged her to accept his offer. Then it occurred to me that I'd never be able to date her or kiss her again and that our relationship would change. It seriously made me cry. Of course, I 'knew' I could never offer her what he was since there was the kid issue, so I just wiped my tears and wished her well after she'd wiped hers.

Some time passed, and she texted me that he's driving her crazy and she needed to talk to me to sort things out. So, I went to her house, totally thinking that it was just her nerves about relationships. It wasn't. he totally wasn't the guy for her. It was like having a 6th child around, literally. So I counseled her to end it politely, and look elsewhere. This suddenly put me into a very interesting position. Before, I'd had pretty good emotional walls up, but those had come down earlier. So here I was, emotionally naked, and her SHE was totally available. We realized that we were in love with each other.

It took a couple weeks of sorting and talking and disclosing before we decided that we'd let the future take care of itself, but for the present, we couldn't NOT be together. So on Sept 15th I asked her to be exclusive with me. suddenly we realized that we'd both been playing the field pretty wide, and there were many people we had to let down (some gently, some not) before we could announce that we were a couple. That wasn't fun, but I don't regret my decision to be with her for one second. I've always known that I needed to find a woman that I absolutely cherished 1000% in order to have the courage and strength to not hit on everything in a skirt. That's how I feel towards J.

There are still many things that could torpedo this,(my plan to move to LA in 2009 being a big one) but as I told her...as long as we're still willing to find the gates in the fences that come up, and build ladders to scale the huge walls, we'll be OK.

I'm Here!

So....I really need to use this.